Perhaps now is the time for Metro to commission a new fashion line based on one of its own. It has six rail lines and six color schemes to choose from — Red, Blue, Green, etc. Plus, a fashion show might be just the thing to take people’s minds off subway system’s daily indignities.

photos:occasion dresses

This comes to mind because, as a recent BBC article on upholstery in public transit suggests, the state of fashion in mass transit is such that Metro could actually distinguish itself in a positive way.

“A multi-hued graphic abomination,” is the actual phrase the BBC used to describe most mass transit fabric design. “Is this the simply the crossweave that we must bear?”

Yet Menja Stevenson, a German artist, designed and produced clothing using the actual threads from buses and subways. She then modeled her designs in a 2008 work of performance art called Bustour.

The effect is mesmerizing, especially considering what she was working with.

“I wanted to get the unseen, seen,” Stevenson was quoted as saying.

We could use something like this to take our minds off the disruptions created by SafeTrack in these dog days of August. Although Metro already has a T-shirt honoring General Manager Paul Wiedefeld (“He’s on fire so Metro doesn’t have to be”) perhaps Metro’s PR folks could enlist a designer to create a look that says “Metro” the way “Zoolander’s” Derelicte line says “Mugatu.”

At this point, any Metro clothing line would have to be skimpy yet costly. We’re thinking maybe something that falls off the shoulder, but definitely in a shade of orange that was popularized in the 1970s with the 1000-series train cars. Or even better — maybe a burnt orange? That is, unless we want to stick with the simpler shade of orange, like the hue in those jumpsuits you find in county lockups, given all the recent arrests. We could call it pumpkin, now that Metro is closing at midnight on weekends again.

Whatever the color is, the new design should allow wearers to stay cool inside a hot car. It might also come with matching footwear — something comfortable for standing. Or, when necessary, running.

Read more:prom dress